Things Japanese - "Weddings"

Spring and Autumn are not only tourist seasons in Japan, but are also the wedding seasons for Japanese people. Generally, wedding ceremonies in Japan are performed in a traditional Shinto-style, very formal and usually very private, with only close family and a few guests present. However, the traditional style is declining in popularity as many weddings are now being performed in other styles. Nearly two-thirds of couples now choose a trip down the aisle, Western-style.

A History of Japanese Marriage:

During the age of aristocracy, Muko-iri was the common marriage system in Japan. A bridegroom would visit his bride every night at her home. Only after the birth of a child or the loss of his parents would the bride be accepted as the wife in the man's home. Among common people labor power was an essential factor to maintain a family. A bridegroom would live with his bride's family to offer his labor for a certain length of time. The practice remains today in the system of adoption by which a man becomes a member of another family by marriage.

With the rise of Bushi warriors, the system of women marrying into men's families called Yome-iri was gradually adopted and widely accepted in the 14th century and on. Under the feudal system marriages were often used as political and diplomatic approaches to maintaining peace and unity among feudal lords. Thus the personal will of men and women for marriage was ignored in the face of family interests whilst the social intercourse of unmarried persons was denied. Marriages came to be arranged by, and for families and the role of Nakodo (go-between) became very important in Japan. The Yome-iri system is still quite common in Japan and you can find the traditional procedure in contemporary marriages.

Engagement:

When a Japanese couple gets engaged, the man may give his fiancee an engagement ring, but the couple also exchanges nine lucky objects to symbolize their happiness:

Awabi (abalone): for good wishes
Kinpo-zutsumi: a ceremonial amount of money
Katsuabushi (dried bonito) and surume (dried cuttlefish): preserved foods that symbolize lasting quality
Yanagidaru: cash specifically for purchasing sake (rice wine)
Suehiro: a fan as a symbol of happiness
Konbu: kelp to ensure fertility and a healthy family
Tomoshiraga: linen thread to signify strong ties in married life
Mokuroku: a list of the lucky objects

Traditional Shinto Style Ceremony:

The Shinto ceremony takes place at a shrine, performed before a Shinto sanctuary and conducted by a Shinto priest. Many hotels and restaurants are equipped with a special room with miniature Shinto shrines located inside where the couple can perform their marriage vows to the 'Kamisama' (god). The ceremony first begins by purifying the couple. After the purification and vows are performed the bride and groom exchange cups of sake (rice wine) in the 'san-san-kudo' (three-times-three) ceremony as part of their wedding vows that symbolizes not only the union of two people, but also the uniting of two families. To close the ceremony, symbolic offerings of small tree twigs called sakaki are given to the 'Kamisama'.

Modern Western Style Ceremony:

The cost of holding a traditional-style ceremony at a Shinto shrine is very expensive, from the rental of the shrine to the traditional silk wedding kimono. Therefore, a western-style ceremony may be held at a church or at one of the many wedding halls or hotels that have set up chapels specifically for that purpose. A minister may preside, but, since less than 1 percent of the population is Christian, it's unlikely that the couple will share his affiliation.

Wedding Reception:

Wedding guests are expected to give money that is generally wrapped in small, beautifully decorated paper packets and often helps to defray the cost of the reception. The amount varies depending on the guest's relationship with the bride. After the wedding ceremony, both Shinto and Western-style ceremonies are followed by an elaborate reception. The couple greets their guest at the large reception party where all their friends, family and colleagues are in attendance.

The reception starts with an introduction of the couple with friends and colleagues making speeches honoring the bride and groom. After the speeches have finished, a banquet of either French, Chinese or Japanese cuisine is served. During the banquet, guests often sing or play an instrument for the newlyweds. During the reception, the bride appears in several changes of clothes, a tradition dating from the 14th century that signifies the bride is prepared to return to everyday life. At a Shinto reception, the bride, who was married in a long white kimono, may arrive in a colorful, embroidered kimono, change into a Western-style white wedding dress, and then into an evening gown or a party dress. If she has had a Western-style wedding, the order might be reversed, with her arriving in a wedding dress, then changing into a kimono and then into one or more party dresses. Towards the end of the reception, the bride and the groom cut the cake and light a central candle display and candles at the guests' tables. At the end of the reception, the newlyweds present each guest with a gift bag that contains a number of different items.

Nowadays:

As recently as 1970, more than 40 percent of Japanese marriages were arranged, designed to link two families together. Today less than 10 percent of marriages come about this way and those that are, are more likely to result from a computer matching service than the traditional "go-between." Recently, the number of Japanese couples who hold their wedding ceremony outside of Japan has also increased. One reason for this phenomenon is the fact that by marrying abroad, the honeymoon can be combined with the ceremony, and the number of guests is limited so the overall costs for the event can be reduced. Marriage in Japan has changed tremendously over the past few decades, and changes are still taking place as people marry later, women consider keeping their surnames, and remaining single becomes an increasingly acceptable option.

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