Things Japanese - "Kurisumasu"

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You may have heard that old urban myth about a foreign tourist in Kyoto who walked into store in the 1970's and spotted Santa Claus-san nailed to a wooden cross. Actually maybe it isn't a myth...

This time of year it seems as if every storekeeper, salesperson and kindergarten teacher suddenly decides to gatecrash one of the major Christian festivals. The tanoshii trappings such as Christmas Cake and white snow (even in sunny Okinawa the Christmas imagery includes snow) are retained and treasured, the mendokusai God, Jesus and Holy Spirit bits are unceremoniously dumped in favor of the Santa Claus cult.

There is no escape, as marketing driven jingle bells chase you from the Minami Jusco-Aeon-Seibu shopping mall all the way to the Kitsutsuki coffee shop. I closed the door of my office thinking a grumpy overworked gaijin could at least escape the "festivities" by retreating to his desk. Alas.

Toh-sensei:    "What is your schedule for the 13th?"
"Dekuran":    "What time?"
T:    "Morning"
D:    "Should be OK, whazzup?"
T:    "I just volunteered you to be this year's Santa Claus....
D:    < - unprintable remark - >
T:    ...at the local Childcare Center"
D:    "You have got to be ####### joking! Why me???"
T:    "Omedetou gozaimasu!"
D:    "Why can't you do it? You're a jolly ojiisan..."
T:    "No can do. Every 2 year old Japanese kid knows that Santa Claus doesn't look Chinese"
D:    "He doesn't look like a long brown ponytailed Irishman either"
T:    "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!"
D:    "Can't you go and find some bored old ####### for this gig?"
T:    audible laughter... <- click - >
D:    < - series of unprintable remarks quite unsuitable for a family newsletter - >

And so before I knew it I found myself dressed up in big fat red suit, struggling down the staircase of "Megumi Wonderland" with a big white sack full of boxes, wearing big fluffy black boots about 2 sizes too small for me. With my toes all scrunched up I could barely walk, and had a vision that the frontpage of the local newspaper would soon read "Tumbling Santa should stick to chimneys" or something. It was about this time that I remembered my visit to a Japanese elementary school 8 years earlier. I'm not good with kids, in fact I'm more than a little intimidated by them.

It turned out of course that I had nothing to worry about. It took about 3 seconds for the first child to scream in terror.

Indoctrination begins young in Japan. I dispensed the presents, answered the questions, listened to the song etc. 20 minutes later I was able to get out of the suit before heat exhaustion set in. Although a modern Santa Claus sometimes has to double park the reindeer and sleigh, I managed to escape without getting a parking infringement fine. I also received a thank you note that said I was a "totemo sutekina kakko ii santasan desita".

I'll put it on my resume

Christmas in Japan is basically restricted to the evening of the 24th. It is basically a festival for lovers - especially younger ones. Minimum requirements for Christmas eve are a Date, Dinner, and Christmas Cake. The restaurant and love hotel industry are particularly keen to encourage a suitably festive Christmas spirit.

However there is no Christmas Day. If the 25th is a weekday, then hi ho, hi ho, its off to work we go. Yamasa's SILAC program will have classes on the 25th. As with everywhere else in Japan, it is business as usual.

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